yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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