he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
