I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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