Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
