everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
that is very illegal...i love you.
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