May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
