The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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