Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
