wanna go halves on a baby?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Randomize
