I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's just like the Real World with babies
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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