first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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