I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
