But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
