Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
