'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
