is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
