The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
