I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
