Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize