so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
