Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize