i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
