Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
