how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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