I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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