What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
