come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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