He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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