When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
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I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
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