I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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