i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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