I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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