dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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