Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
