is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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