You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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