We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
