alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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