I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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