I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
