I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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