I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
