I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
