We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
