Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
did you just send me my own nude
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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