we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
