the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
