I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
