A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
