is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
