please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
