I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
