I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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