So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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