I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
