So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
