I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
