apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
