the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
