Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I want her autograph on my taint
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I have peed in a lot of sinks
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
