Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
