Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
