your room smells of hookers.
And success
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize