break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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