Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
