I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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