there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
