We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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